Healing a Heart Read online

  “So you tucked tail and ran, using your sister’s ashes as an excuse.”

  “Hey,” she said. “I told him I would come back.”

  “Now, I know you better than that. You have no intention of going back to that man’s house.”

  What could she say? It was the truth. She didn’t have any intention of going back. Why couldn’t they handle everything by e-mail? In this new day and age, she didn’t have to be right there with him, staring into those green eyes as she tried to make life-altering decisions about the child she carried. She just couldn’t do it.

  Maybe it was time to talk to somebody. But she managed her grief this far. Still, she knew that she had a lot of changes in the last few years starting with the death of her stepmom and her dad.

  A freak accident, everyone had said. Freak or not it still resulted in her and Emery losing the two most important people in their lives. Emery had been seven at the time. Since then Bryn raised her sister the best she could.

  “Bryn, he has rights, you know.” Rick’s voice had lost all of its teasing.

  “I know.”

  “Promise me you’ll go back on the way home.”

  “Rick, I—”

  “Promise me,” he said again. “I have a feeling that he wouldn’t skip out on you. You can’t do the same to him.”

  “Wasn’t it you who also told me to go buy that cowboy a drink?”

  Rick chuckled. “I seem to remember something of the sort.”

  “So why should I do what you say now? Look what that got me into.”

  Rick chuckled again. “You’ll do it because you know I’m right.”

  • • •

  Jake stood in the driveway and watched until she was good and truly gone. His heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vise. She wasn’t coming back. She could promise all she wanted, but he could see the panic in her eyes. It was primal and instinctive. She could no more hide it than the color of her hair.

  With a sigh he turned and made his way back into the house.

  “Jake?” his mother called as he opened the door.

  “Ma’am?” Good man. Delay the inevitable.

  “My office. Now.”

  His footfalls sounded heavy upon the hardwood floor as he made his way to her office. His knees were stiff. It was like being fifteen again and called in front of her because the foreman caught him and one of the ranch hand’s daughters in the hayloft.

  He resisted the urge to salute as he entered.

  She pointed to the couch, the very same place where Bryn had been sitting just minutes ago.

  Jake crossed his arms and refused to sit.

  “Well?” she asked.

  “Well what?”

  “Where is she?”

  “She’s gone.”

  “You let her leave?”

  “Yes, Mama. In case you haven’t forgotten, this is a free country and holding someone against their will is a federal offense.”

  “Don’t get sassy with me.”

  He pulled his hat from his head and tossed it onto the couch. Then he ran his fingers through his hair, needing some sort of action to relieve the stress building inside him. “I’m sorry, it’s just—”

  “—been a long afternoon. I know.” She leaned back in her chair and eyed him. “So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t see that there’s a lot I can do.” He shrugged. “Let the lawyers handle it I guess.”

  “Would you like to tell me what happened?” Was she talking about that night in Austin?

  “Not particularly.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Seth.

  Can you come to the house tonight? Need to talk.

  “I think you should decide what you’re going to do.”

  His phone chimed.

  I can come now. See you in twenty.

  OK, Jake texted in return, then pocketed his phone. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He left off the with you. He wouldn’t hurt his mother’s feelings for anything in the world. But she was too wrapped up in the family and appearances for her to see everything else. If he had his way and in a perfect world, he would marry Bryn. They would magically fall in love, have the baby and live happily ever after. But this wasn’t a perfect world. And the chances of him getting his way were slim to none. At this point all he could do was pray that she would be okay. That she would be strong enough to have the baby. That nothing would go wrong.

  • • •

  Let me get this straight.” Seth set his beer on the patio table and squinted his eyes, as if that would help bring everything into focus. “You met this woman in Austin, in May, and I’m just now hearing about her?”

  “I can’t say it was one of my finer moments.” That wasn’t exactly true. Deciding to let his guard down and have a drink wasn’t something he was proud of. But those hours he’d spent with Bryn, upstairs and away from all the noise and company, had been something else entirely.

  He’d felt alive in her arms. Alive for the first time in a long time. It was both liberating and terrifying. And when he’d left early that morning, he looked at her there in the bed and thought about leaving a note, something, anything so she could get in touch with him if she wanted. Then he’d changed his mind and quietly let himself out.

  “You must have done something right.” Seth picked up his bottle and raised it in toast.

  Jake shook his head. “I’m beginning to think God is punishing me.”

  Seth rolled his eyes. “It’s a baby, Jake. Not the end of the world.”

  And suddenly he felt like the biggest heel in Texas. “I didn’t mean that.” He shook his head. How could he be so insensitive? It had only been a couple of months since Seth and his wife Jessie had lost their baby to miscarriage. They’d almost split up over the loss, with Jessie on her way out of town before Seth convinced her that he loved her and he wanted her to stay and be his wife. The declaration of his love was still painted in bright red letters across the city’s water tower. And since Seth was the sheriff of Page County, Jake didn’t think it would ever be removed.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “We’ve both lost something very important. Just don’t let it cause you to lose more than you have.”

  Chapter Three

  You can do this,” Bryn muttered to herself as she got out of the car. Once again she was on Langston property. She had buried her mother, her father, and her baby sister. She had driven across the country and sprinkled her sister’s ashes in the ocean, but facing Jake Langston again? Now that was really something she didn’t want to do.

  But Rick was right. She would have to share her child with the Langstons. It was better by far to spend some time with them and find out who they really were before she carted her baby off for the rest of the summer.

  The thought made her stomach hurt. But what choice did she have? And all because one night she took a chance on a cowboy. And what a chance it was.

  “Well, I’ll be.”

  Door still open, Bryn looked up to see Jake’s grandma Esther standing on the porch. She was dressed in typical granny attire, pull-on, denim-look pants and a cotton T-shirt, though Bryn noticed it had been silk-screened to look like a Western shirt. On her feet she wore black orthopedic shoes, but Bryn had the feeling she wore her boots when she thought no one was looking. “Hi.”

  The elderly woman shook her cane at Bryn. “I knew you would come back. It’s a good thing they didn’t bet me.” She shook her head. “Bah, those boys welch on their bets with me all the time anyway.”

  What could she say to that? “That’s terrible. They shouldn’t welch.”

  Esther shook her head. “That’s what grannies do. Let their grandkids get away with murder. You know, once Jake had this fund-raiser at school. He used to come over to my house all the time and pilfer around and ask for things to sell. Then he would
come the next day and try to sell me my things back.”

  “Did it work?”

  The old woman smiled with the memory. “Every time.” She motioned toward the house. “Come on in. I’ll help you find a room.”

  Bryn shook her head. “I’m not staying here.”

  Esther stopped. “But you’re not leaving town.”

  “I thought I would drive on in to Cattle Creek and get a hotel room.”

  “Trust me, you do not want to do that. There’s a bed-and-breakfast, then the motel where the kids go to watch dirty movies.” She lowered her voice as if repeating state secrets. “Like we don’t know that’s what they’re doing in there. You just need to get that idea out of your head and get on in this house.”

  The offer was generous, but she couldn’t accept. Yet she had the feeling that the more she argued with Esther Langston, the harder it would be to win.

  “Well, now don’t just stand there. Get on in here so we can commence with the getting to know each other.”

  Bryn laughed and followed the woman inside.

  “Evie,” Esther called just inside the door. “Bryn is here.”

  A door opened down the hallway and Jake’s mother appeared. She wore a relieved smile that perfectly complemented her pristine white Western shirt and immaculately starched jeans. “You came back.”

  “Yeah.” She nodded, feeling more than a little awkward. “I figured we could benefit from getting to know each other better.”

  Evelyn nodded. “Jake’s in town right now.”

  “He’s not here?”

  She shook her head. “He and Wesley went into town to get everything she needs for school. And, of course, to make sure that we’ll have a bus to pick up the kids each morning.”

  Emery would have been starting the seventh grade this year. Bryn pushed that thought away and tried to concentrate on the fact that Jake wasn’t there and she was. “I should have called to let him know when I would be here.” But she hadn’t, because she really hadn’t known if she would actually come back until she found herself in his driveway once again.

  “That’s okay, dear,” Grandma Esther put in. “He knows the way home.”

  As if to back up her words, the sound of tires crunching gravel sounded from outside.

  The old woman’s eyes twinkled. “And that’s him now.”

  A few seconds later the front door opened, followed by “Nana! Nana! Nana!” Wesley came running into the office and flung herself into Evelyn’s arms.

  She noisily kissed Wesley’s cheek, then let her slide back to the floor.

  “I did it! I’m going to school in the fall.” Wesley did a little dance, the heels of her pink cowboy boots clunking against the floor during her jig.

  Evelyn caught Bryn’s eye. “Kindergarten,” she mouthed over the top of Wesley’s head.

  Bryn gave a nod but stopped as Jake came into the room. Damn, but the man was more handsome today than he was the last time she had seen him. Of course he had been scowling then and shooting green daggers with his eyes.

  “You came back,” he said in lieu of a proper greeting.

  Bryn stood. “I said I would.”

  He gave a quick nod. And she knew then that he’d had as many doubts about her return as she did.

  “Jakey-boy, go get her things out of her car and I’ll check the linen closet for clean sheets. I think we’ll put her in the room next to yours.”

  “No.” Bryn shook her head.

  “It’s the nicest guest room we have,” Esther explained.

  “I mean, no, I can’t stay here.”

  Esther patted her hand. “I thought we had already covered this. You don’t want to stay in town. Not enough options. Plus, if you are going to try us on for size, don’t you think it’s better to spend as much time with us as possible?”

  Was that what she was doing? Trying them on for size? Did it matter if they fit? She was having this baby, whether Jake liked it or not. Yet how would she get to know them if she spent more time driving back and forth from town than she did actually at the ranch?

  “I’m just staying a week,” she said.

  Esther shook her head. “Nonsense. You stay as long as you like.”

  “Come on,” Jake said. “I’ll help you get your things.”

  They passed a couple of doors on the way down the hall, but Jake didn’t bother to point out which one belonged to him. Bryn didn’t bother to ask. Knowing he was so close was bad enough. She surely didn’t need to know exactly where he was. That might be too much temptation to bear.

  Half an hour later, Bryn was all moved into the “spare room next to Jake’s.” And if his room was anything like hers . . .

  A tall ceiling complete with raw cedar beams soared over her head. The floor was composed of wide wood planks making her think of the pallet floors she had seen on the Internet. Two walls were covered with the same cedar paneling while the third was rugged sandstone. The fourth was a bank of glass that overlooked the swimming pool. A sliding glass door bisected the windows and led to a large verandah that seemed to stretch the length of the house. All in all, the effect was masculine and rugged, but it welcomed her all the same. There were two doors besides the one that led into the hall. One opened to a large walk-in closet while the other led to a long narrow bathroom. There was another door on the opposite side of the bathroom. It was locked, but she figured it led to the bedroom next door, like the Jack and Jill bathroom in The Brady Bunch sitcom.

  Bryn crossed to the bed and sat on the microfiber coverlet. It had the feel of suede and was the pale tan of a newborn fawn. Cinnamon- and teal-colored pillows added a little color to the décor along with a Navaho-print blanket.

  Well, she was here. Maybe she should call Rick and let him know she arrived safely. She checked her watch. It was almost supper time here, which meant it was past that in Georgia. Maybe she should just text him instead. She reached for her phone and typed in a short message. Just as she hit send a knock sounded on the door.

  “Come in.”

  Her breath stuck in her throat as Jake stepped into the room. “You get all settled in?” He pulled the door closed behind him and leaned back against it.

  She nodded. “As much as I can be.” It wasn’t like she had a lot of clothes with her. She hadn’t planned on being on this trip as long as it was turning out to be.

  “Listen, I think I should warn you that Grandma Esther is determined that I get married again.” He shook his head. “Ever since Seth and Jessie got married.”

  She had heard those names before.

  “Seth’s my brother. Jessie is his wife. They’re coming for supper tonight. You’ll get to meet them then.”

  “That’s nice. Your mother told me you had four brothers.”

  “Seth is the only one close. He and Jess live in the old ranch house.” He jerked his thumb over one shoulder in a gesture she knew to mean kinda close but over there. “Chase still lives here, I suppose, but he’s off on the rodeo circuit. And . . . anyway, Tyler is in the service and Mav . . .” He shook his head. “Mav walked out fifteen years ago, just after Dad died, and he’s not been back since.”

  “How sad,” she murmured.

  “Just don’t bring it up.”

  “Got it.”

  “Or Chase.” He shook his head. “I didn’t mean to come in here and air all the family’s dirty laundry, but I think you should be aware of a few things. Seth and Jessie got pregnant this summer. Then they got married and lost the baby.”

  “And they’re still married?”

  “Yeah.” He grinned. “Jessie’s like the sister we never had. You’ll like her, but I wanted to tell you about the baby. Just in case.”

  Bryn laid a protective hand over her stomach. She was past what most considered the danger zone of miscarriage, but she’d had too many friends lose babies e
ven after their twelve-week mark to take anything for granted.

  “I really didn’t mean it, you know.”

  She didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. “It’s all right. You don’t have to keep saying that. I want the baby and that’s all—” She stopped. She had been about to say that’s all I care about, but she couldn’t afford to be that selfish now. “This baby means the world to me,” she finally said.

  “I’m glad.” He pushed off from the door and turned to leave. “Supper’s in about an hour. Seth and Jessie should be here soon.”

  Her heart gave a hard pound in her chest. Showtime, as they said. “I’ll just freshen up and meet you . . . where?”

  “On the verandah. Grandma Esther likes to have a beer before supper.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “You can’t drink.”

  She shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I can hide out in here.” Though after the day she’d had, the week, the year, she would like nothing better. She just needed some rest. And tonight, in this big old bed, she was hoping to sleep like a baby. Surely she couldn’t hear Jake through all the sandstone and cedar.

  “See you in fifteen?”

  She stood and stretched, her back popping like firecrackers. “Better make that twenty.”

  • • •

  Jake let himself out of Bryn’s room, stopping there in the hallway and sucking in a deep breath. He slumped against the wall needing a couple of minutes to get himself together. Damn, what a time this was turning out to be. The last thing . . . the very last thing he wanted to do was get married again. But she was carrying his baby. He wasn’t sure if his mother or Grandma Esther would excuse him for this one.

  The one time—one time—he had let his guard down and this had to happen. They had been careful. They had used protection, but it seemed that fate had another plan.

  He pushed himself from the wall and continued back toward his mother’s office. It’d be another fifteen or so minutes until Seth and Jessie arrived. Might as well get this over with.