Marrying Jonah Read online

  MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP

  “I could use a friend, Sarah Yoder.” He took her hand into his, lacing their fingers together.

  Night birds called and katydids sang as they sat there on the banks. The world seemed suspended, as if they were the last two people on the Earth. He could almost close his eyes and imagine it so. Just the two of them all alone. No Lorie. No Zach Calhoun. No church. No censure.

  Her hand was warm in his. He could feel every breath she took as he sat next to her, their backs braced against the old fallen log. In that moment it was easy to imagine that it was just the two of them, and nothing existed outside their warm cocoon there by the pond.

  How easy it would be to kiss her, pretend that it was only the two of them. No one existed anywhere else in the world.

  He was just so tired of fighting, struggling, wanting things he couldn’t have. And there was Sarah sitting beside him. Sweet, warm, loving Sarah. Sarah who once upon a time had loved him beyond measure. He could use some of that right now, to be loved without question. Had anyone ever loved him like that? He didn’t think so. And he needed it. Oh, how he needed it.

  He didn’t think, didn’t allow himself anything other than to feel. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips....

  Books by Amy Lillard

  The Wells Landing Series

  CAROLINE’S SECRET

  COURTING EMILY

  LORIE’S HEART

  JUST PLAIN SADIE

  TITUS RETURNS

  MARRYING JONAH

  E-Novellas

  The Quilting Circle

  MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP

  MORE THAN A PROMISE

  MORE THAN A MARRIAGE

  Published by Kensington Publishing Corporation

  MARRYING JONAH

  AMY LILLARD

  ZEBRA BOOKS

  KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.

  http://www.kensingtonbooks.com

  All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.

  Table of Contents

  MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP

  Also by

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Epilogue

  ZEBRA BOOKS are published by

  Kensington Publishing Corp.

  119 West 40th Street

  New York, NY 10018

  Copyright © 2017 by Amy Lillard

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

  To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.

  If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the Publisher and neither the Author nor the Publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”

  Zebra and the Z logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

  ISBN: 978-1-4201-3977-8

  eISBN-13: 978-1-4201-3978-5

  eISBN-10: 1-4201-3978-9

  Chapter One

  Sarah turned in a semicircle, surveying the crowd around her. So far the back-to-school day was playing out better than she could have dreamed. Families sat on blankets and quilts underneath the warm Oklahoma sun, eating sandwiches, chips, and baked beans.

  There were nine families in her school. Nine families and twenty-two scholars. Plenty to keep her busy all year long.

  “Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!”

  She turned as Prudy Miller came running across the playground toward her.

  “Will you come have dessert with us? Mamm brought plenty enough. Shoo-fly pie,” the young girl singsonged.

  Sarah searched her brain for the nicest possible way to refuse. It wasn’t that Gertie Miller’s pie wasn’t worthy. Her recipe might have even been the best in the district. But Prudy Miller was Jonah Miller’s sister, and Sarah had vowed to stay as far away from Jonah as possible.

  There had been a time when Sarah would have done just about anything to get such an invitation. Eating dessert with Jonah, sitting underneath the blue sky, their knees almost touching—it was the stuff dreams were made of. But she had held that dream too long. Jonah didn’t want her. And even though Lorie Kauffman had married her Englisher boyfriend almost two months ago, nothing had changed. Jonah still loved Lorie and had no interest in anyone else.

  That was when Sarah had decided to give up. What use was there in loving a man who didn’t love her back?

  “Sarah!” Prudy tugged her hand, peering up at her with tawny eyes so much like her brother’s. But whereas Jonah’s hair was the golden color of newly harvested wheat, Prudy’s was as dark as the finest chocolate.

  “How about I go over and say hello again?”

  “And eat pie?”

  Sarah placed a hand over her stomach. “Not this time. I couldn’t hold another bite.” Lord forgive me the lie. But self-preservation had to take precedence. She couldn’t go sit so close to Jonah. Not yet. Not when her resolve to move on was still so new.

  Prudy looked mildly disappointed, but tugged her to the blanket where her family was seated. “Look! I have Teacher.”

  Eli Miller frowned a bit as Prudy dragged her into view. Sarah wasn’t sure what Jonah’s father thought about her. Since Prudy was just starting school this year, Eli had been off the school board for several years. But she was certain the other members had filled him in on all the troubles she’d had.

  This year was going to be different. She was different. She had made up her mind. She might not ever get married and have a family, but she was going to be the best teacher the district had ever seen.

  “Hi, Sarah.” Buddy Miller was on his feet in a second.

  “Sit down, Buddy,” Jonah coached.

  He obeyed in an instant.

  Buddy was a little different than most folks. Down syndrome, she thought they called it, though he was the only person she knew who had it. Not that she truly knew what it was, just that Buddy was a little slower than most folks. His face was a little broader and his speech not as clear. But the Lord had given him a good heart and a loving family. He couldn’t ask for more than that.

  “Hi, Buddy. Jonah.” Sarah was proud of herself. Her voice didn’t sound the least bit breathless as she uttered his name. She turned to Jonah’s mother. “How are you today, Gertie, Eli?”

  “Gut, danki,” they said together, each nodding.

  “Do you want some pie?” Buddy asked.

  “She’s too full,” Prudy said.

  “Prudy.” The warning came from her mother.

  Sarah was careful not to let her gaze stray to Jonah. “Danki, Buddy, but Prudy’s right. I have already eaten way too much.”

  The young girl gave a self-satisfied smile, then plopped down between her oldest brothers. There were two more Miller boys: Aaron, who was about to marry Mary Ebe
rsol, and Jonathan, who was still running around. The Millers also had a daughter, Hannah, who was Sarah’s age. The two were close friends, though Sarah hadn’t expected Hannah to come today. She was too busy building her home.

  A home like Sarah would never have.

  “Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of the picnic.”

  She turned to walk away and her gaze wandered toward Jonah. She couldn’t help it. Despite her vow to forget him, she was just so aware of his every move, his every breath.

  He looked . . . heartbroken, sad, and her heart went out to him. He had taken his breakup with Lorie badly.

  He smiled at Prudy. It was the only time his face relaxed and his eyes lit up. It shouldn’t be that way. She couldn’t believe it was God’s will for him to be so unhappy, and she said a small prayer that one day he would heal and find that happiness he deserved.

  * * *

  “She’s pretty.”

  Jonah tore his gaze from Sarah’s departing back and settled it on his brother. Until Buddy had spoken, Jonah hadn’t realized he’d been staring, watching Sarah walk away. “You think so?” He’d never given the matter much thought. He supposed that Sarah Yoder was attractive enough, with her dark brown hair and crystal-blue eyes.

  “Jah.” Buddy smiled in a dreamy sort of way.

  Jonah lightly pinched him on the arm. “I think somebody has a crush on somebody.”

  Deep rose flushed Buddy’s cheeks. “No.” But Jonah could tell. Not that anything could ever come of it. He had heard his parents talk too many times when they thought no one was listening. Mamm and Dat weren’t even sure if Buddy would ever leave the farm, much less find a love of his own. It was sad really, given the size of his heart and his kind nature. If they stayed with tradition, Jonathan would inherit the farm and most likely the care of Buddy to go along with it.

  “I think she’s pretty,” Prudy chimed in. “Does that mean that I have a crush too?”

  Jonah smiled at his baby sister. At six, Prudy was definitely a late blessing in their lives. Mamm and Dat had thought they wouldn’t have any more children after Jonathan was born. Now he was nearing seventeen while Prudy was just starting to school.

  “Maybe,” Jonah said.

  Buddy shook his head. “She’s a girl, and a girl can’t have a crush on her teacher.”

  “I can too.” Prudy stood, her anger shining in her red cheeks.

  “Shhh . . .” Jonah pulled her into his lap. “Of course you can.”

  Meanwhile Mamm soothed Buddy. She caught Jonah’s gaze over his brother’s shoulder. A helpless light flickered in her eyes and then it was gone.

  He knew his parents weren’t sure what to do about his brother, but they had to believe that God would show them the way. The good-natured Buddy had grown increasingly irritable over the last couple of months. Jonah had believed at first that the sensitive boy had just been picking up on Jonah’s own agitation, but now he was beginning to think otherwise. Maybe Buddy was starting to realize the differences between them all. If that was the case, Jonah wasn’t sure what to do either, except to be there for him and pray daily.

  Calmer now, Prudy pushed up from his lap and flounced over to get another piece of pie. Jonah’s gaze wandered around the area, taking in who had come to the back-to-school picnic.

  But his stare settled on Sarah once more. He couldn’t pin it down, but there was something different about her. Something he couldn’t name.

  “She is pretty.” His mother’s words were low and close by, as if she had moved near when he wasn’t looking. “Fancy, but pretty.”

  “I suppose.” What could he say really? Was Sarah fancy Amish? He supposed that according to his mother’s standards, she was.

  “She’ll make someone a good fraa.”

  “Jah,” he murmured. He’d been hearing comments like this from his mother ever since the wedding. Lorie Kauffman and Zach the Englisher’s wedding. He had started off gently explaining to Mamm that he had no interest in getting married. Not now, maybe not ever. But it seemed his mother had wedding fever. His brother Aaron was promised to marry Mary Ebersol, the bishop’s daughter, in a couple of months. The whole house was in an uproar as she sewed shirts and prepared for the big day. It was only natural that she wanted Jonah to get married too. After all, he was the oldest aside from his sister Hannah and she had married Will Lapp last year. If Buddy never married . . . well, that left Jonathan until Prudy came of age.

  “Of course, if she likes teaching . . .”

  It was a lead-in and he knew it. What Amish woman would rather teach the scholars than raise a family of her own? Amish women were raised to want a husband and a family. Big families filled with laughing kids and more cousins than they could count. Once upon a time Jonah had thought he’d have that with Lorie, but that dream was long gone.

  He ignored his mother’s less-than-subtle attempts at dragging him into a conversation he didn’t want to have, one in which she would extol the merits of marriage and the love of a good woman. “There’s a volleyball game at Obie Brenneman’s next weekend.”

  “Are you going?” His mother’s eyes lit up like the amber lights the town put up around October. He knew she wanted him to stay closer to home, and since Lorie . . . well, he’d been spending a lot of time in Tulsa with Luke Lambright and some of his English friends.

  “Maybe.” He shrugged as if it were no big deal, but at least he’d gotten the conversation away from Sarah Yoder. He didn’t want to talk about her.

  His gaze followed her around the playground. She walked from one family’s blanket to the next, talking and laughing and seemingly oblivious to his stare. He just couldn’t figure out what was so different about her, and heaven help him, he was intrigued.

  “I wanna go,” Buddy said. “Can I go? Can I?”

  “Buddy, no,” his mother said. “That’s for the older kids.”

  “But I’m older than Aaron and Jonathan, and they get to go.”

  “Buddy . . .”

  Buddy ducked his head. “I know what you’re going to say. That’s different.”

  Jonah turned back to his family, his mouth open to offer to see after Buddy at the game, but he knew his mother wouldn’t want him to interfere. He didn’t understand why his parents were so against Buddy socializing, but he knew they had their reasons. Still, he couldn’t help feeling for his brother, so different than anyone else in Wells Landing. “I’ve got an idea,” he finally said. “Why don’t you and I go over to the Hein ranch.”

  Ezra Hein had married Lorie’s sister Sadie. Even though Ezra was a Mennonite, the families had remained close. And Jonah knew that Ezra would welcome Buddy’s visit. Buddy loved watching the bison roam around the pasture. Up until earlier in the year, Ezra had also kept a few camels, but Jonah had heard that he’d sold those off to Titus Lambert. It was a good ways out to Ezra’s, but it would be worth it to keep the smile on Buddy’s face.

  “You mean that?” his brother asked.

  “Of course I do.” Never mind that it would give him the opportunity to talk to Sadie and see if Lorie was truly happy. That was all he had ever wanted, her happiness. He just always thought he’d be the one to give it to her. Not some smooth-talking Englisher. And once he knew she was happy . . . well, maybe then he could learn to move on.

  At the thought, his gaze drifted back to Sarah. That was what was different. Not so long ago she would have done anything to sit next to him, talk to him, make sure that he knew she was around. And today? She had barely looked at him. Hadn’t spoken to him at all, and refused his sister’s invitation. An invite that could have landed them side by side eating pie.

  Everyone knew that Sarah had a crush on him, but it seemed as if that time was over. Maybe, like Lorie, she had found someone else. Or maybe she had just given up on him ever noticing her. Whatever it was, he had noticed the change immediately. And it set well upon her shoulders.

  * * *

  “Look! Look!” Buddy hopped out of the car and raced toward the fe
nce, pointing at the bison as he ran.

  Jonah chuckled and got out of the car, their driver following suit. Bruce Brown was one of the favorite drivers in these parts. A retired Air Force medic, he had fabulous stories to tell, and Jonah knew that Buddy loved to hear all about flying in an airplane.

  Neither man spoke as Ezra Hein came out of the barn. He was dressed in blue jeans and a plaid shirt, black suspenders across his shoulders.

  “Jonah,” he greeted, striding toward them. “How are you?”

  How to answer that... “I’m gut, thanks.” So it wasn’t the exact truth. At least it wasn’t a lie either. He was making it. Just one day at a time, never looking beyond the next horizon. “And danki for letting me bring Buddy out today.”

  Ezra cast a quick look over one shoulder. Buddy was up on the fence calling to the bison, who munched grass and otherwise ignored him. “You’re welcome anytime. I love having Buddy visit.”

  “How’s Sadie?” Bruce asked. He had driven for so many in the community, it was as if he was one of them.

  Ezra’s face lit up at the mention of his wife. “She’s good. At the doctor’s right now.”

  “Did she take your mother in?”

  Ezra’s grin deepened. “We’re having a baby.”

  Jonah’s heart turned over in his chest. He recognized it for what it was. He was jealous. He wanted the same happiness that he saw on Ezra’s face. But the chances of that happening now were slim to none. “Congratulations,” he managed to choke out as Bruce shook Ezra’s hand and clapped him on the back.